Half Human, Half Divine

Today is the ninth anniversary of Marianne’s death. I have had some trouble sleeping lately, although last night I slept quite well. I had in mind that I wanted to post this special poem today, and indeed I do wish to share it, completing a trilogy of “anniversary” poems. The painting is based on a CT scan of Marianne’s heart, and the artist, Jennifer McCormick, sent the image to me on the sixth anniversary of her death, with the message, “Marianne sends you her heart.” The poem came during the early morning hours of the first Sunday in January 2019 (which marked Epiphany that year).

 Half Human, Half Divine
    
 It is like the night you died
 I cannot sleep
 Every night I wake up earlier
 Thoughts and feelings swirl inside my mind and heart
 I think my soul is reaching out to me
 In these quiet nighttime hours
 The world is asleep
 My house is quiet
 There are no distractions
 What shall I do now?
  
 Shall I try to silence my own soul?
 You see, that is what I have been doing
 I have tried reading my story
 I have tried the comfort of food
 I have tried to just lie here
 Trusting that my tired body would bring the sleep I need
 And so every night I silenced my soul.
  
 Tonight it is different
 Although not with words
 My soul is speaking more strongly
 To listen to you at last
 You have never left me
 It is your greatest gift
 You have told me that we are closer now
 And now I am a believer
 You have shown it in so many ways
 You are not on the physical plane
 But you reach me in my heart
 You reach me through my friends
 You reach me through people I do not yet know
 Who are lonely and suffering
 And need our help.
  
 For it is not I alone who can help
 I am half human, half divine
 It is my divinity that they need
 It is their own divinity that will bring them home.
  
 Home, that is a word of magic
 We all seek our home
 You have shown me a simple way that we can help
 We can open our lovely home to our friends
 Our friends old and new
 We begin small
 Since I am only half human and half divine
 But we begin today on First Day
 And we will greet the morning sun with joy. 

Charlotte, North Carolina
January 6, 2019

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