Today is the ninth anniversary of Marianne’s death. I have had some trouble sleeping lately, although last night I slept quite well. I had in mind that I wanted to post this special poem today, and indeed I do wish to share it, completing a trilogy of “anniversary” poems. The painting is based on a CT scan of Marianne’s heart, and the artist, Jennifer McCormick, sent the image to me on the sixth anniversary of her death, with the message, “Marianne sends you her heart.” The poem came during the night the following year.
Half Human, Half Divine It is like the night you died I cannot sleep Every night I wake up earlier Thoughts and feelings swirl inside my mind and heart I think my soul is reaching out to me In these quiet nighttime hours The world is asleep My house is quiet There are no distractions What shall I do now? Shall I try to silence my own soul? You see, that is what I have been doing I have tried reading my story I have tried the comfort of food I have tried to just lie here Trusting that my tired body would bring the sleep I need And so every night I silenced my soul. Tonight it is different Although not with words My soul is speaking more strongly To listen to you at last You have never left me It is your greatest gift You have told me that we are closer now And now I am a believer You have shown it in so many ways You are not on the physical plane But you reach me in my heart You reach me through my friends You reach me through people I do not yet know Who are lonely and suffering And need our help. For it is not I alone who can help I am half human, half divine It is my divinity that they need It is their own divinity that will bring them home. Home, that is a word of magic We all seek our home You have shown me a simple way that we can help We can open our lovely home to our friends Our friends old and new We begin small Since I am only half human and half divine But we begin today on First Day And we will greet the morning sun with joy.