Our Journeys

This is the first poem I wrote after Marianne died. It makes reference to an earlier poem, The Quality of Love, which is also posted on this blog. In the post I share how that poem came to be, inspired by Marianne. As I reread “Our Journeys” now, over eleven years after I wrote it, I find that the poem has a prescient quality for me, making me think of Our Journeys Home.

Our Journeys

The tears are coming, my love
I cannot hold them back
Nor do I want to
I feel so close to you
You were my purpose, what lent meaning to my life
But I was restless
I cared deeply about you
Yet I sought something else too
I knew not what
I had so many ideas, schemes, ambitions
Air energy, as you would call it.

You cared about me and helped me to find my way
You urged me to seek a quality, not an action
That was so right
Immediately I knew I wanted to find
The quality of love.

That is what you sought all your life
You did not have it as a child
You found a measure in me and I in you
And that was a blessing
Many people saw our love (as now I know)
But on my side, to my deep sorrow,
It was mixed with ego.

O God, hear my prayer
Purify this soul of mine
I know this may mean more trials
I still want to have my cake and eat it too
Find this quality of love
Yet have my ease and comfort.

My big comfort, my love
Is gone from the physical plane
My grief is deep
My trial is real, not make believe
I know I seek to give love
Love is indivisible
Marianne, you loved me, birds, worms
You loved simple joys.

Your journey has been amazing
Mine has been easy, though sometimes I thought it hard
You built a life out of fragments
You did it on your own.

God, give me the strength
To build a life to manifest
The quality of love.

July 5, 2012

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